A Simple Soul....6th February, 2020

LORDS: I read recently that the Government is examining whether to move the House of Lords out of London in order to “reconnect” politics with voters outside the capital. It seems York and Birmingham are being considered. Do we really need to find these people somewhere else to have an afternoon kip? Can they not stay at home and have a nap like I do? They may reconnect better with voters if they gave up some of their daily attendance expenses, which they seem to get for just signing in — they don’t even have to stay for their nap. “Money for old rope” as my dear old dad would have said.
FOOTY: It seems the world of football has gone mad. I read that Manchester United is prepared to pay more than £30m for a 16-year-old from Birmingham. It seems a crazy amount to pay for a young man who may not make the grade — many, it seems, do not. Mind you, it appears that United is interested in any player who wants a move these days, so desperate is it to return to the top. Money doesn’t always buy success as United should know — many of its big money purchases in the past couple of years haven’t exactly worked out.
I had to laugh when Liverpool were denied a goal in a recent match with Man Utd, as it was deemed United’s “world class goal keeper” had been fouled. To me it looked like both players went for the ball and just touched each other. United’s goalie and other players were not happy and surrounded the ref, who had given a goal, only for him to change the decision after consulting VAR. Maybe the whole Utd team should have been made to watch their goalie of years ago being shoulder charged into the back of the net by a certain Nat Lofthouse, in a FA Cup final. All part of the game in those days, and a goal was awarded.
STAFFING: As I have previously highlighted, one of our major supermarkets seems intent on making customers do all the work when shopping — self-scanning, self-checkouts and closing basket checkouts. So it was good to see that Morrisons is cutting its management staff, and increasing its hourly paid “customer-facing” staff by 7,000. It appears it will have more butchers, bakers and fishmongers — let us hope it will also have a few more checkout operators, too.
HOTELS: Mrs Simple Soul was watching a programme the other night about the world’s most expensive hotels, where rich people pay thousands of pounds a night to stay. I told her that it seems some of them have more money than sense and for what they pay for a one-night stay, we could have whole year in a caravan at Prestatyn.
FOOTY II: Watching one of the FA Cup games last weekend, I happened to say to Mrs Simple Soul that I wished I was in my prime again — I would show them a thing or two. She reminded me that in my prime I wasn’t very good at footy either, and was known as “old two left feet”. I replied that I wasn’t talking about playing, but I would have done a good job at holding up that board thingy, when the teams made substitutions.
SMART? Much has been in the media in recent days regarding smart motorways. It would appear that the Government is having second thoughts about how smart they actually are. It would appear that if you breakdown, just hope it’s alongside one of the refuge areas, which seem to be miles apart, or that someone watching a cctv camera spots you’re in trouble and illuminates a sign on a gantry, which may be some distance away. It seems you have to rely on following traffic that has already passed the gantry avoiding you and those further back spotting the lane closed sign — some may even be on their phones, eating a snack or dozing. This Simple Soul, and I suspect many more, don’t even feel safe on existing hard shoulders, never mind being stationary in a live lane. Not very smart at all. They need to be scrapped.
BREXIT: By the time you read this we should have left the EU and be billions of pounds better off. Don’t suppose we mere mortals will see any of it. Watch this space, as they say.