Catty remarks from sore loser?
Dear Sir, — You will not be surprised to learn that the publication of the 2019 Chronicle Festive Pets Competition result was not universally well received in Rushton Spencer.
This morning, my client Smudge the Cat, already frustrated by the near instant reaction times and intrinsic agility displayed by the local small bird population, hit the proverbial roof on learning that the award had, once again, gone to a dog.
She did, eventually, calm down, but unsurprisingly the trauma re-ignited old suspicions about doggy favouritism in our local paper.
“Speciesism” is an ugly word (really it is, just look at it) that my client would prefer not be bandied around. And the same goes for “IPSO inquiry”, but you know, just saying.
Anyway, in the true spirit of feline/canine respect, Smudge the cat sends her congratulations to 2019 victor Marley and, through gritted fangs, thanks the Chronicle for making it all happen.
Now for 2020 ... — Yours faithfully,
Chief Diversity Officer
Smudge the Cat Organisation.