Fourth best for Gareth Britain

Dear Sir, — In keeping with the renaming of Southgate tube station, could I propose that as a sign of our nation’s gratitude to the English football manager’s achievements in guiding our team to fourth place in the World Cup, we should henceforth rename our country of Great Britain to Gareth Britain.
Could I also suggest that Simon Cowell should instigate a new talent show where the public would be asked to nominate their fourth favourite contestant for special commemoration. We could call it Fourth Is Best With Our Simon, or something appropriate. Yes, yet again, the English have shown the world how to come fourth.
Something the elitists and the politicians don’t really understand (although they pretend to) is that the English are really a patriotic nation. 
Now they all defend Scotland’s proud nationalism, as they do the Irish and the Welsh nationalistic stances. But be a proud English person and you run the risk of being called racist, or even a right-wing fascist. How odd. What are they teaching our children these days?
On the other hand, it looks like we’re going to leave the corrupt EU with no deal. Well, that’s ok by me. 
We’ve always been the biggest contributor to their organisation. That was, until Germany amalgamated with the liberated East German block. 
Since then we’ve been second biggest contributor to their budget. No wonder they don’t want us to leave. — Yours faithfully,

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